Monday, October 7, 2013

Writer's Block

I keep starting posts, however, nothing really seems worthy enough to post/ I lose internet and am unable to post then I forget/ it is hard to know what to write about now.

I could write about the horrible cold we already are dealing with (I saw my breath in my room this morning), but that seems repetitive. I could write about being excited to return to America, but that is mixed with sadness about leaving here. I could write about the fact that I am finally getting an X-ray on my leg that has been bruised, swollen, and with some pain since February (it only took 7 months for the  doctors to decide maybe they should see if I did any serious damage back in February rather than just telling me, "You have a bruise..."). In reality, there is a lot I could write about, but none of it seems good enough. None of it seems interesting enough. But alas, I will give it a go.


Life is clicking along here at a very fast pace. It is already October and I feel like there is so much left to do in these last few weeks. However, at the same time, I am back to feeling useless. I am less involved in classes now than I was (hard to believe, I know!) as the teachers and the students have to start to transition into me not being in class. I am no longer heading up any committees so I don't have that work to focus on either. The Mak-18s have arrived and are settled into their PST host families  (no one is with my family this year, so no new sister for me), however, I wont ever really get to know them, which is odd. I was talking with another COSing volunteer about this and we agreed that they are here, but in many ways, they aren't really that important to us because they don't play a role (or much of one) in our service. We may only meet them once or twice before we leave. The Mak-17s are holding strong, having only had one ET (early termination) and life seems to be moving along with them too.

In this period of nothing happening, however, there is actually a lot happening. We all have started thinking about the transition back to America and trying to find a job and place to live and all of that fun stuff. Everyone here asks me what I am going to do when I leave and I can talk about activities only until early January. Once Phil and I head to Arizona for Christmas, there is no plan in place for life post-Christmas. I have no return ticket to Minnesota. I have no ticket elsewhere. I have no plans. It is exciting and incredibly scary at the same time. I know I could head back to Minnesota, as my father has so nicely offered up his shed, however, the idea of having to continue heating my "house" with a wood stove doesn't really excite me.
My new house? I think not!
I have started searching for jobs, but it is hard not knowing where to look or I what I want to do for a job. This has always been a problem for me. Yeah, I got my degree in Elementary Education, but I don't know if I could go back to a regular classroom. I was hoping to discover what I wanted my "career" to be while I was over here, but that is one thing I haven't accomplished. I keep waiting for it all to just click and make sense and for me to know what I want to do.

Instead, I have been trying to focus on the short amount of time left here. Now is the time for goodbyes, not just to locals, but to other PCVs. A couple weekends ago I went to Skopje to spend the night with my Lozovo PCV family. While we were all together at IST, there were lots of other PCVs there, so this was probably the last time the eight of us will be together.
Walking to Sushi Co for dinner.
Andres took a lot of photos- a lot!
With the newly married, Amy!
We all showed up matching in black. Guess we have been in this country too long- our colour has been stolen from us.
We may live about as far apart as possible in this country, but I am super excited to end this journey with the girl I started it with. From Philly to Macedonia to Spain to the middle of the ocean to New Orleans.
Trust Kenzie to decide to dance through our picture.
I think this sums up our relationship pretty well.
- 50 days until I leave Macedonia
- 51 days until I set foot on the largest boat I have ever been on
- 67 days until I arrive back in the land of no federal budget
- 68 days until I realize that Minnesota isn't as cold as I thought it was because at least there the houses are warm

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